It’s an all too common problem: your husband wants to have more sex than you do. But what do you do when you have a mismatched libido in the bedroom? If you want your marriage to stay strong, then you need to work on the problem before it leads to a dead bedroom or marital stress. The following guide will help you understand what you need to do when your husband wants more sex than you do.
What To Do When Your Husband Wants More Sex Than You Do
There are three primary steps you need to take in order to address the problem of your husband having a higher libido in your relationship. These steps will help you understand the nature of your differing libidos and what can be done to resolve the situation to both you and your husband’s satisfaction - no pun intended.
1. Determine the reason why your libidos don’t match
The first thing you need to do is find out why your libidos aren’t matching up.
Is it that your husband wants highly frequent sex - such as once (or more) per day? Or is it that you have a lower libido, such as only wanting sex once a week or twice a month?
Once you have this determined, then you will need to consider the reasoning behind this difference in your libidos. If you only want sex once a week or less, what is the reason? Is it due to physical pain or discomfort? Are you not feeling up for sex due to being stressed out at work or tired from work and taking care of the kids? Do you feel that the romance or spark is gone? The more you can dig into your personal reasoning, the better the chance for a positive solution.
2. Communicate with your husband about possible compromises
Once you have determined the reason why you and your husband have mismatched libidos, it’s time to open up the channels of communication. Talk with your husband about your differing libidos. Explain your reasoning for your lack of libido or different view on how much sex you want to have in your relationship. Then, ask him for his reasoning and point of view. This type of open communication will let you move on to step three.
3. Come to a compromise you can both be happy with
Finally, you and your husband will need to discuss compromises that will leave you both emotionally and physically satisfied. The compromises you reach will really depend on the nature of your mismatched libidos; for instance, if you prefer sex to be romantic, then your husband could agree to set the mood more often. Or if your lack of sex drives is due to being tired from watching the kids, you could agree to pay for a babysitter more often to give you both more time for the bedroom.
Remember: a mismatched libido doesn’t need to devolve into a dead bedroom. The above steps will help you navigate a relationship where your libidos don’t quite line up.
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