What We Wish We Knew When We Got Married

Getting married is the first step towards building and spending the rest of your lives together. But there are a lot of things about marriage that don’t get discussed by the general public - ranging from small little details that we wish we would have known about to some pretty significant things that should most definitely be included on every “marriage 101” course. We’ve decided to share the most significant things that we wish we knew about when we got married in the hopes of helping other engaged or new couples find their marriage footing.

You need to be on the same page about goals - or at least understand how your spouse approaches them

Everyone talks about love and romance, but very few people talk about goals - and how you (and your partner) differ in your approach to goals. Your goals as a person and a married individual can play a significant factor in how you live, what you want to do, and your plans for the future. Do you prefer to approach goals by planning them out meticulously? Or are you more of a “fly by the seat of your pants” type of person? You and your spouse need to be on the same page regarding goals or if you don’t necessarily agree on certain goals, you still need to understand how your spouse approaches them so that you can act accordingly.

If you haven’t lived together before, there will be a major adjustment period

This is something that definitely needs to be on every marriage course, seminar or “marriage help 101” website. If you have never lived with your spouse prior to marriage, then you will be in for a very eye-opening adjustment period after marriage. Living with your spouse is in some ways like living with a roommate. You will both have your own habits and expectations for how you live, and once you live together you will both have to adjust those habits and expectations accordingly. Make sure that you are prepared for this adjustment period; if possible, talk with your spouse about your expectations for living together, such as expectations regarding cleanliness, bedroom, television and gaming habits, and so on.

Managing a household together takes a lot of time and energy - and it can’t be ignored

As a married couple, you will now be running a household together. And managing a household, even if you don’t have children, takes a lot of time and energy. It’s also something that can’t be ignored or set aside, no matter how tired or otherwise busy you are. Managing a household includes everything from making sure appliances and other household elements (such as A/C and heating) are running smoothly or are repaired promptly; managing laundry, dishes, and groceries; scheduling and managing appointments of all sorts, and so much more.

Marriage will bring lots of changes to your life, but if you are prepared by knowing the above things that many people wish they knew before they were married, you will be more prepared for what marriage has in store.