Taking Care of Your Spouse (and Yourself) in Marriage

"Put your spouse first." It’s something that you’ve probably heard, but understanding this complex phrase is different from simply hearing it. What does it mean to put your spouse first? And how can you make sure that you take care of yourself as well? The following guide will help you understand how you can put your spouse first without leaving yourself behind.

Put Your Spouse First - but Don’t Forget Yourself

What exactly does it mean to put your husband or wife first when you are married? In it simplest form, this phrase means that because you are married, you need to make sure that your better half comes first, before other people in your life. You have committed to starting a new family with your spouse, so while you can still stay connected with your family and friends, you need to hold your spouse - and your new family with them - above others.

Putting your spouse first also means recognizing that their needs and wants should be met in your relationship. This can be something as simple as taking the time to learn what foods they like to eat if you’re the primary cook of the household or something as complex as taking their work commute into consideration when you two are looking to move to a new place.

However, it’s important that you don’t forget yourself even though you are putting your spouse first. Putting your spouse first should not come at the expense of caring for yourself, nor should your compromises always tend to fall on the side of yours spouse at your own expense.  If you're wondering how this works, consider that when you both make efforts to put the other person first that you both have your needs and wants satisfied.

How to Take Care of Yourself and Your Spouse in a Healthy Marriage

It is important to take care of both yourself and your spouse in a healthy marriage. Good marriages are ones in which both spouses know how to put their partner ahead, without leaving themselves behind in the process.

One thing that you need to learn is to effectively compromise. Putting your spouse first means learning how to compromise - and making sure that you don’t get left behind means specifically learning how to compromise in an effective manner. It’s also important to understand when compromise isn’t necessary and when putting your spouse first is the best or most considerate option.

In some cases, compromise is essential if you don’t want to be left behind; but in other cases, it’s worth it to put your spouse first. For example: Moving to a new location should involve effective compromise that satisfies both your needs, but something like letting your spouse pick their favorite dinner spot on a Saturday night even if you don’t like that type of cuisine is a simple way to put your spouse first.

Remember, putting your spouse first is essential in a healthy marriage - just don’t leave yourself behind in the process.