When You're Not in the Mood - Try Anyway

Sometimes, you’re just not in the mood for sex. But when "sometimes" becomes "usually", it can lead to damage in your marriage and your relationship. When you’re not in the mood, you should try anyway - and here’s a guide to why and what to do when you want to get yourself in the mood.

Not in the mood? 5 reasons you should try anyway

The following are 5 key reasons you should try anyway even if you’re not really in the mood.

Trying to get yourself in the mood usually works

When you are convinced that you're just not in the mood for whatever reason, yet you try anyway, you'll see that it often works! Foreplay is key here of course, if either of you just isn't feeling it you can't just jump right in, take your time and you'll see that your bodies will respond and you'll wonder why you were being so stubborn.

Physical intimacy is important for a relationship

Regular physical intimacy is important for a relationship. You and your spouse need to feel fulfilled and physically wanted in order to maintain a strong emotional and physical bond, which are both essential for a good marriage.  The last thing you want to do in your marriage is not respond to your spouse's physical needs and leave them wondering where else they can get those needs satisfied.  

Lack of sex can lead to depression and interpersonal struggles

When you're married and not getting enough sex, you can actually increase your chances for developing depression, feelings of sadness and other interpersonal struggles. Making sure that you have a regular sex life can help you feel better and stave off the blues.

Sex can boost your mood for the day

Sex is also important for short-term mood boosts, which can be important after a stressful day at work or when you simply need to feel better quickly. Having sex with your husband or wife can help you relieve stress, feel happier, and enjoy the rest of your evening without stress and anxiety.

Engaging in physical intimacy shows your partner that you recognize their needs

Having sex is important because it shows your partner that you recognize their physical and emotional needs. A "dead bedroom" is the sign that one or both spouses aren’t respecting and recognizing their partner’s needs; trying even if you’re not in the mood is one way you can reduce the chances for that dead bedroom developing.

Ways to get yourself in the mood

Once you’re committed to trying even when you’re not in the mood, don’t worry: there are a few ways you can help yourself get into the mood and increase the chances for meeting your partner’s needs and enjoying yourself as well.

Take the time to engage in more foreplay

If you find that you aren’t in the mood because the sex isn’t pleasurable enough or romantic enough, then take the time to engage in more - and longer - foreplay. More foreplay will help you ease yourselves into the sex and enjoy yourselves.

Set the mood with candles, music or other touches

Setting the mood can help you feel more into things; using candles, romantic music, rose petals or other small touches can be a great way to get yourselves in the mood.

Consider trying out new positions

You might be feeling that your sex life is boring or simply not engaging enough sometimes - to combat this, try out new positions, acting out fantasies or playing games together. This can help your sex life feel fresh and interesting rather than stale.

Remember, a healthy sex life is important for a strong marriage. If you aren’t into it, take the time more often to try anyway!  But even though you should probably try more often than you currently do, be sure to allow breaks from this rule to ensure you keep a healthy relationship between the two of you.