As humans, we are constantly seeking ways to communicate with each other. Married couples are unique because the channel of communication between husband and wife is one of total transparency. The couple that communicates never has to worry about building up resentments. Here are just a few ways to improve communication in your marriage to keep that channel open and clear.
Learn your love language.
Everyone shows love differently! Learning how you and your spouse show love helps you to be aware of the times your spouse is showing you love when you may not have even realized it. There are 5 different love languages:
Words of affirmation - verbally building up your spouse.
Giving gifts - physically giving something to your spouse.
Acts of service - doing an action you know your spouse would like.
Quality time - giving your spouse your undivided attention.
Physical touch - any physical expression of love.
Every person has a love language that is his or her primary way of expressing love. If your husband is a gift giver, and your love language is words of affirmation, you may feel as though he doesn’t show his love enough because he doesn’t tell you often enough. Recognize his gift-giving as his way of showing he loves you! It helps you to communicate and understand his way of expressing love. On the other side of things, if you know that he shows love by giving gifts, try using his love language and giving him a gift to show that you understand him and appreciate him for who he is.
Know your core needs.
You can’t love another person if you don’t love yourself. Similarly, you can’t know another person if you don’t know yourself. Know what your core needs are. What do you want out of your marriage? If you’re solid on the things you need - physical affection, children, support in your career - then you’ll be able to communicate that effectively. And if you are solid on what you want, then you can be receptive to his needs as well. Open and honest dialogue about each other’s needs enables both husband and wife to help the other and provide the support needed for a long and healthy marriage.
Don’t be afraid to be yourself.
You need to be able to be yourself with your spouse. If you come home from a long day and you need to cry and vent, then cry and vent! Don’t keep these things inside for fear of judgment or criticism. Your partner is there to give you the love and support that you need no matter what. However, they can only do so if you openly and clearly communicate your feelings to them, good or bad. Every good wife loves to be there for her husband, and vice versa. Show your vulnerable side to him and allow him to see the real you. This benefits both of you, and strengthens your marriage in a way unlike any other.
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With our Couples Advent Calendar we'll give you a great marriage tip for each of the 25 days leading up to Christmas. This fun activity will help you focus on your relationship. Make it your next holiday tradition!