Getting remarried can come with a lot of unforeseen "baggage" from your previous marriage, and one of the most overlooked types of baggage is related to your sex life. When you are remarried, you may feel awkward, frustrated or even emotional in regards to your sex life with your new spouse. If you want to avoid this issue, consider the following 4 tips for a healthier sex life when you get remarried.
Tip #1: Stop the comparisons between your current and previous spouse
Most people find it impossible to stop comparing their new spouse with their previous spouse, but this is a major mistake which can impact your sexual performance as well as the intimate bond you are trying to build with your new spouse. Resist the temptation to compare your previous spouse and new spouse, even if it’s just a comparison in your head. And never compare the two out loud, as this will make your new spouse feel very insecure.
Tip #2: Remember that your new spouse may have different needs and preferences
If you want to have a healthy sex life with your new spouse, you need to remember that your new husband or wife has different needs and preferences in regards to sex than your old spouse. They may have a different libido; they may have different preferences in regards to how they prefer to get intimate, and so on. It’s important to take a step back and recognize that things will be different in more ways than one with your newly remarried spouse.
Tip #3: Give you and your new spouse time to get physically acquainted
Don’t feel like you need to rush into things with your new spouse. If you want your sex life to be healthy, you have to give yourselves time to get physically acquainted with each other. This is especially true if your earlier marriage lasted for many years, as you likely become used to your spouse’s body and reactions; you will now need plenty of time to get to know your new spouse. If possible, go on a honeymoon so you can have private time together to explore - or set aside a long weekend where you can get to know one another on a personal level.
Tip #4: Find new preferences and traditions to share with your spouse
Finally, a healthy sex life with your newly remarried spouse is about more than recognizing that they may have different needs: it’s about establishing new traditions and preferences with your new spouse that you can enjoy together. Find something that your spouse likes to do in bed, or find a new way to share intimacy that you didn’t do with your previous spouse; for instance, playing music, or setting the mood in a certain way.
A healthy sex life is important in any marriage, and if you want to make sure that your sex life with your new spouse is healthy, don’t forget the above tips.
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