What to Do When There's Abuse in Your Marriage

Abuse is one of the most common contributors to divorce. If there is abuse in your marriage, you need to know how it can impact your marriage - and what to do if it exists in your marriage. The following tips will help you understand more about how abuse is a common contributor to divorce and what you should do in the case of abuse in your marriage.

How Abuse Impacts a Marriage

Abuse can affect a marriage in a number of ways. Both emotional and physical abuse can cause your marriage to become fractured due to a loss of trust and the toll that abuse can have on both spouses in a married relationship. If abuse occurs over a long period of time, this can cause deep fractures that impact how you interact on a regular basis with your spouse - to how you communicate, physical intimacy, and more.

Naturally, this type of impact is why abuse is a common contributor to separation and divorce. Couples who do not address abuse in their marriage will typically not stay together long due to the stress and strain that abuse causes in any relationship.

What to do When There is Abuse in Your Marriage

When there is abuse in your marriage, you need to follow two separate steps in order to properly manage the situation.

Assess the Situation

The first thing you need to do is assess the situation. What type of abuse is occurring in your marriage? How serious is the abuse in terms of impacting your health and safety? How long has the abuse been occurring?

Both physical abuse and mental abuse are serious issues. However, there are some circumstances when it is not beneficial to stay in a married relationship. If you are being physically abused to the point that you fear for your health and safety, then it is often advised you seek professional help in leaving the relationship. However, and this is not to negate the seriousness of physical or emotional abuse, some types of abuse may be possible to work through - such as a spouse who slaps another in anger once during an argument, or emotional abuse in the form of lack of communication that can be worked on.

In other words, if the abuse is serious enough that you fear for your health and safety, it is recommended that you distance yourself from the situation.  However, if the abuse is something that can be worked on through therapy, then you can move on to the next step.

Seek Professional Counseling (Individual and Couples)

If you feel that the abusive behavior is something you and your spouse can work towards resolving, then you should seek professional counseling. Both you and your spouse should have individual counseling and couples counseling. The counseling can help you and your spouse address the abusive behavior that is occurring and resolve it through better communication, professional conflict resolution, and other therapy techniques that can help you and your spouse prevent abusive behavior in the future.