Your Wife's Needs and Wants

As a husband, it’s important for you to know what your wife needs and wants if you want to have a long, successful and happy marriage. The following is an essential guide to your wife’s needs and wants that will help you better understand what she needs out of your marriage.

Regular quality time with you

Your wife wants to spend regular quality time with you! Quality time is time where you and your wife are enjoying moments together without being distracted by work or outside interests, such as a football game or your phone. If you have kids, you need to have quality time both with and without the kids.  Remember that quality time doesn’t just mean being in the same room together, it means setting aside some time to talk, cuddle and otherwise share moments where you are experiencing life without needless distractions. Quality time doesn’t have to involve expensive dates or outings, either; even something as simple as regularly snuggling on the couch and talking about your day can be quality time.

Physical affection that doesn’t always lead to sex

It’s understandable to associate physical intimacy with sex, but your wife doesn’t always want every physical gesture to turn into a night in the bedroom. Your wife needs to have physical affection without feeling like she needs to be interested in sexual intimacy. This is important - if you only offer her affection as a means for achieving your own sexual satisfaction she will see and feel that.  Offer hugs, cuddles, and kisses that are simply gestures of affection rather than needing to lead up to the bedroom.

Open and detailed communication from you

Your wife wants to know what you’re thinking and feeling, whether it’s about a problem you two are having or simply what you did during your work day. It can be difficult to adjust to the idea of sharing your thoughts and feelings, especially if it doesn't seem particularly necessary to you; but your wife associates your willingness to share thoughts and feelings about your day (as well as various topics) with your trust in her. When you get home from work and she asks about your day, don’t stop at mumbling: “Fine,” or “Boring.” Instead, tell her about something notable that happened. This will build a stronger bond and allow your wife to enjoy the feelings of being confided in.

Equal management of the relationship and household

It’s not a malicious act, but it’s a fact that women tend to become the de-facto managers of the household in a marriage. More than likely, your wife takes on the larger share of managing tasks and information such as writing down appointment dates, keeping track of what’s in the fridge and pantry and what needs to be purchased at the store, noting when the laundry needs to be folded, and so on. However, this can become a heavy burden and lead to added stress and resentment in a relationship. Your wife needs you to take on an equal manager role in the relationship so that you are both contributing to the often stressful emotional and mental burdens.

If you want to improve your marriage, always make sure you consider your wife’s needs and wants.