The Effects of Pornography on Your Sex Life and Your Marriage

Pornography may or may not seem like a serious issue to you, but pornography can actually have significant negative effects on your marriage and even your sex life. The following are the most notable ways that pornography will negatively impact your sex life, your marriage - and possibly even your future together as a married couple.

How Does Pornography Impact Your Sex Life - and Your Marriage?

Pornography can impact your sex life and your marriage in several ways; the following are the 2 most significant ways that pornography can impact your sex life and your marriage.

Unrealistic expectations regarding appearance

For starters, the actors used in pornography are already some of the most beautiful people around.  In addition to restrictive diets and strict exercise regimens, they wear heavy makeup and frequently have cosmetic surgery in order to achieve physical appearances that aren’t achievable by nature alone.  Therefore pornography gives unrealistic expectations regarding how someone should look, especially in regards to their body. The people you are watching are most likely simply better looking than you or your spouse are.  This can cause you to feel dissatisfied with your spouse’s (and even your own) appearance, even if you are perfectly attractive by normal standards.

Unrealistic expectations or views regarding sex

Notably, pornography gives viewers unrealistic expectations on sex - including the type of sex acts that most people are comfortable with doing as well as how certain sex acts should be performed in the first place. For instance, in modern pornography, it is very common for the sex to be depicted as overly rough, mostly created for a male point of view and often quite degrading. Pornography is not interested in love, just lust.  Many couples have reported that a spouse who regularly watches pornography attempts to imitate these acts in real life, even though their partner hasn’t expressed interest in doing so. These types of issues can cause sexual problems and even a lack of trust, depending on the acts being imitated.  With the unrealistic expectations that porn create, it can often be difficult to be satisfied by your own, real life sex with each other.

In addition to these issues, pornography promotes sexual misinformation.  When you learn about sex from watching porn, it affects your satisfaction in your sex life and distances you from your spouse.  Many people addicted to pornography tend to act out in various ways sexually, attempting the strange and unnatural things they see, trying live their lives based on the fantasy world they observe.  There are a lot of sexual "self help" resources out there that recommend for couples to view porn together, to help them have more sexual satisfaction.  You should learn about sex and how to please each other physically, but steer clear of pornography if you want to have a healthy and happy marriage.

Need for visual/audio stimulation causes dependence

Watching pornography can also cause the viewer to develop a dependence on visual/audio stimulation in order to feel aroused during sex. This can cause serious problems as the partner may be unable to perform when it comes time for sexual intimacy with their spouse. It may be extremely difficult or even impossible for that person to feel sexually satisfied with the physical act alone after they have become dependent on pornography.

How to Curb the Negative Impacts of Pornography

In order to curb the negative impacts of pornography on your marriage, follow these tips.

First, stop viewing it - simple, right?  Well, unfortunately it can be extremely difficult to stop since pornography is so addicting.  If attempts to stop viewing pornography using your own self control haven't proven successful, you may need to talk to a therapist.  Before reaching out to therapy, try to reduce your consumption gradually over time.  Don't be too hard on yourself (or your spouse) if it's a two steps forward and one step back approach.  

To try and make things more exciting in the bedroom, try out new positions and activities with your spouse; for partners who are trying to recover from the arousal dependence that pornography creates, trying out new and exciting positions and activities in the bedroom can help them get over that slump.

Remember, pornography can have a negative impact on your marriage, so it’s important to tackle this problem as soon as possible.  If gone unchecked, there are actual negative effects to your married and family life, your sex life and more.