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The day you say, "I do" to the love of your life is often a dream come true. It is a statement that reflects your desire to face the future with him or her, and to make the most of it. However, after the years roll on and a couple has kids, careers, etc., things begin to change. It’s not just about the two of you anymore.
There seems to be less time for you and your spouse. Communication weakens and physical intimacy declines when this happens. Yet, despite the fact that you have to focus on other things, this doesn't have to happen.
Love is more than just a feeling, it’s an action and a choice. If keeping the fire alive between the two of you is important, it should always be part of your priorities. This then begs the question, how can a married couple with other responsibilities find time for romance? Let's take a look.
Keep Dating
Just because you’re already together and married, doesn’t mean that you ought to stop dating. Initially, when you first started dating, you wanted to get to know each other. This is still relevant after marriage.
We are human beings, we change and we grow. Each of you experiences life each day through your own personal lens. Always try to learn your spouse, his/her struggles, wishes and desires and so forth. This will help you to understand and appreciate each other. Moreover, showing interests in your spouse’s life shows that you genuinely care and love them.
Be Spontaneous and Fun
Life tends to get serious after kids. However, this doesn’t mean you have to lose your spontaneous and fun nature when you’re with your spouse. There’s a time to be a parent, and a time to be a spouse.
Leave your spouse random notes that will let them know of your love for them, buy them an unexpected gift or even cook them their favourite meal. Never miss a chance to show them how special they are to you. Do not be afraid to be flirty with your spouse as well.
Focus More on Your Spouse
Sure, your kids need love and attention. But so does your husband or wife, especially after you have kids. We often tend to focus more on the kids, because we are afraid of neglecting them.
Yet, if we neglect our spouses, the marriage tends to suffer. This, in turn, will also affect the kids negatively. Create a happy home your kids deserve by loving your spouse adequately.
Additionally, the love and care you show your spouse is good for the children. As this teaches and shows them what love really looks like. Also, this gives them a sense of security.
Don't worry, you won't run out of love by sharing it with everyone in your family.
Stay Intimate
This cannot be emphasized enough. As a couple, you need to remain physically intimate with each other. And this goes beyond just the bedroom, you should show your affection to each other in public and in front of your children, family and friends.
Intimacy in the bedroom has been shown to do more than just keep the romance and love alive. There are many known benefits including reducing levels of stress, headaches, increasing weight loss and so much more. But more importantly, it creates a bond between the two of you that helps keep you united as a couple.
Remember, intimacy is not just about you, focus first on the needs of your spouse.
Schedule your Getaways
Always take off as parents, to rest, relax and focus on each other. This not only provides a chance for intimacy, but a chance to truly bond and communicate about the future. You can get to talk about the future, talk about life and if there are any changes that need to be made.
Get to enjoy your spouse's presence, and remind yourselves about what you truly love about each other.
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With our Couples Advent Calendar we'll give you a great marriage tip for each of the 25 days leading up to Christmas. This fun activity will help you focus on your relationship. Make it your next holiday tradition!