How to Build a More Loving Relationship

Keeping the flame alive in a relationship can be challenging after a few years of marriage because life events tend to get in the way. You make everything else a priority and suddenly years have gone by and the next thing you know, there are rifts in your relationship, some hidden and some out in the open.

It is not uncommon to forget the small, but significant gestures that make your partner feel more valued every day. Technology has taken over, where a couple is glued to their phones or social media accounts while having dinner together. And in order to fulfill their financial obligations, couples are more focused on building careers and forgetting that their better half also needs their undivided attention.

It is a balancing act that is challenging for many couples, but the key to unlocking this dilemma is not feeling that you have to choose one over the other, but instead finding a way of balancing everything better.

Communication

Treat your spouse like a partner and keep them well-informed of what is going on, ensuring that you are not taking them for granted and assuming they will understand. Failure to do so only contributes more towards needless arguments and undermines the honesty, respect, and trust you have for each other. Here are a few fundamental points of effective communication:

• Pick your battles

• Never discuss a problem on text

• Resolve conflicts with a loving undertone

• “You” statements come across like accusatory attacks to the person on the receiving end

• Learn to be a good listener and know how to fight fair

• You are only hurting yourself if you go to bed angry and wake up even angrier

Don't Overuse Technology

It is important to minimize the use of your smartphone, laptop, tablet, or any other gadget that is taking your focus away from your spouse. How often are you and your spouse in the same house, or even room, but in completely different worlds? The time that you spend checking your updates on Facebook, you could be engaging in a meaningful conversation with your spouse or better still, spending it in the bedroom.

More Kisses and Sex

Kissing is just about the most intimate act of affection you can show to the one you love. It is from a kiss that you can tell whether it is out of genuine interest or pure lust. Kissing your partner every morning and when you go to bed solidifies your connection, it strengthens your closeness, it builds an emotional attachment, it adds to the romance in your relationship, and if the kissing leads to something more, even better.

The perfect and passionate kiss can keep your relationship strong. So, kiss away. Additionally, sex keeps the romance alive in your relationship and you as a couple connected. There will be times when one of you isn’t in the mood, but make sure you keep the "no's" to a minimum to avoid hurt feelings and disappointment.  Be sure to communicate your needs and wants with regards to sex so you both are on the same page as much as possible.

Date Night

Date night is a universally advised ritual that every married couple should regularly observe. Why? For starters, it keeps the sparks alive in your marriage and whether you are struggling or not, couples in all stages of their married life need quality one-on-one time together. The rule of thumb is not to wait for the other person to initiate it, go someplace different each date night, and if you can’t afford a fancy hotel, a nice picnic or home-cooked meal will do just fine.

While date night may not guarantee a satisfying marriage, or fix all your marital problems (if any) it is an opportunity for romance, and it offers a break from the demands of everyday life. It is also an opportunity to let your hair down and have some fun, and above all else, it is a show of commitment that your relationship is a priority for the both of you.

Don’t Take Your Spouse for Granted

Do you feel like your relationship has plateaued or taken a back seat? It is important to let your other half know how much you appreciate what they bring to the table by saying thank you more often. Don't stop going out on dates just because you have been together for so long. Avoid backhanded compliments that are only meant to get you something in return, or out of a rut and take up responsibilities for a few chores around the house. It is very easy to fall into certain unhealthy patterns in your relationship, such as not making your partners wants and needs a priority.

Avoid the following:

• Not expressing your love often and meaning it
• Showing more interest in the tv, internet or phone than on your spouse
• Not being willing to help out around the home or with the children
• Reaching a comfort level where you're not striving to be more loving and to be together often
• Not appreciating your spouse for who they are and how they contribute to your happiness

These are some of the signs that you are taking your spouse for granted.  We all do these things from time to time and we can all make room for improvement.

Work-free Zone

Unless you work at home, the work that follows you home should be kept to a minimum, because, in as much as you are providing for your family and offering them the things they need, you also deny them the attention they need. And if your work is home-based, ensure that you set clear boundaries between your working time and the time designated for your family and spouse.

Your emails and workload will still be there the next day and days to come. Besides, your home is meant to be a place where you can recharge and recover from the day’s stress, workload, and enjoy your time with your better half. Don’t deny yourself and your family from this essential benefit.