Sex Advice for Newly-weds

If you have never had sex before you probably don't have a good idea of what to expect. If you have had sex, but not with your new spouse, you know most of the drill but everyone is different, and it will still be a new experience.

The best advice for anyone who has never had sex is to take the whole process very slowly. You could probably stand to buy a good quality lubricant to use on the special day, at least as a precaution. Making sure that things are slippery makes for a much more comfortable and easy experience. An important part about making sex enjoyable is understanding how our bodies work.  You'll get the hang of it with some time, but in the early stages there can be a lot of fumbling around and awkwardness.  Get to know each others' bodies and learn how you each like to be touched.  Focus on satisfying your spouse first and things will all work out.

If you don't know what a woman's hymen is - take note. The hymen is a thin membrane inside the vagina. Often times during a woman's first sexual experience the hymen is broken. This can cause a lot of blood and confusion during sex. It should be noted that not every woman who has not had sex will have a hymen. It can break especially if a woman is athletic or if she's experimented with herself. Some women may even be born without one. However, if she does still have a hymen it can be stretched out slowly, ideally over a period of time. This is the least painful way to “break” the hymen.

Whether you're new to sex or not, arguably the most important aspect of sex is communication. Talk about what you are afraid of, talk about what you want, talk about what you don't really like. Talk about how often you would like to have sex in your marriage, what kind of foreplay you like, and how you can overcome any obstacles you may face. Keep everything as open and fluid as possible, in the most loving and understanding way that you can. If you don't talk about it you'll likely have confusion, frustration and other negative feelings when expectations aren't met. Remember, it's not about you alone, it's about you together.

Often times things start to go downhill after a couple marries in terms of their sex life and what it was. Women's libido sometimes drops, men may suffer erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, and it's not uncommon that they aren't having sex as often as they had hoped. You get too tired for sex over time and get settled into routines. The best way to combat any such problems is first, to go a little easy on your expectations of how perfect sex might be after marriage. Even though it might not be what you wanted and dreamed, you can communicate and work together to find solutions to your problems. It is easier to keep a sex life healthy and thriving or fix it in early stages when issues arise rather than to fix one that is completely broken.

It is important that both husband and wife have their sexual needs satisfied, which means doing your best to make sure their need for sexual release and intimacy is met. The common term “maintenance sex” refers basically to coming through for your husband or wife even if you feel tired or not in the mood initially. Often the best cure for not being in the mood is to throw out that thought and just go for it. It's amazing how easily not in the mood can change to in the mood sometimes. If sex isn't an option in the moment then finding other ways to meet their need might suffice. This helps keep the sexual bond alive and healthy.