How to Date Your Husband

Ladies, does this sound familiar? After finally getting your toddler down for a nap, you spend twenty minutes cleaning the kitchen before realizing that the elementary school gets out early today and you will have to rush if you want to take a shower before the cycle of after school snacks, homework, piano lessons, soccer games, and choir concerts eats up the rest of your evening. Or perhaps you return home from a long day at work only to find that everyone is asking when dinner will be ready and your teenager needs you to take them shopping for a big project they have due in English class tomorrow. Whether you have children or not, stay at home or work outside of your home, many wives and moms feel pulled in so many different directions, it is easy for your list of responsibilities to take complete control of your life. However, to keep your marriage strong and healthy, you need to make time for spending one-on-one time with your husband. Prioritizing time with your husband cultivates the friendship and emotional bond between you. Of course, sometimes scheduling time for the two of you may seem impossible, especially when there are so many demands from other places. But dating your husband shouldn't be just one more thing on your very long "to-do" list. No matter how long you've been married, putting your marriage first is an essential part of making your life happy in both the short and long term. Whether you can make it happen every week or even every month, here are some things to remember about dating your husband.

Keep it Simple

Dating your husband doesn't have to be expensive or fancy. It doesn't have to take a lot of time and it doesn't have to come at the expense of the kids. In fact, parents spending time together has great benefits for their kids. Some simple ideas for making dates more affordable and fitting them in to your schedule include: putting the kids to bed a hour earlier than normal and spend that time talking and reconnecting with each other; doing a babysitting swap with another couple or two, where you take turns watching the kids so the others can go out on the town; exercise together, even if it is just a walk through your neighborhood; get take-out and play a card game or watch a movie from your favorite streaming service on your own couch; take a day off work occasionally and enjoy matinee prices and lunch specials, or just stay home and hang out together with no other distractions allowed. 

Treat it Differently

Think about before you were married, when your husband (then your boyfriend) was coming to pick you up and take you out on a date. Did you refresh your makeup? Dress up in a cute outfit? Add jewelry? Then do that again. Channel your inner teenager. Try on a few things to make sure you've got exactly the right clothes to impress him. Spend a little extra time doing your hair. Wear his favorite perfume. Even if date night is just hanging out at home together, show your husband that you care about him and your special time together by dressing up and getting ready for him. If you're hitting a show or event or have dinner reservations, do your best to be on time. Give him a kiss when you head out, as if he were just picking you up, and let him open the door for you all evening. Reach out and hold his hand or put your hand on his knee in the car or the movie theater. Compliment him and be interested in what he has to say. Laugh at all his jokes, even the ones you've heard a hundred times already. Flirt with him like crazy. 

Change is Good

Avoid the feeling that your dates are just "same old same old" and mix things up every once in a while. Take a class to learn something new together like cooking or art, try a restaurant you've never been to, buy tickets to a concert or a game or a comedy show, go bowling or mini golfing or roller skating. It doesn't really matter what you do as long as you mix it up a little sometimes and you have fun together. Creating shared happy memories is an important building block in the foundation of every marriage relationship, and dates can be a key ingredient. 

Don't Forget Intimacy

Use the marriedfun.org Intimacy Tracker to schedule sex so you can both look forward to it all day. Schedule more time for this important aspect of your marriage and don't just rush through a routine. Play a bedroom game or two to increase foreplay and really heat things up. Check out our sex positions and try something new together. Pay a little more attention to his erogenous zones and make it your goal to give him as much pleasure as possible. You may ignite his desire to return the favor!