Husbands, when is the last time you asked your wife out on a date? Or when is the last time you actually took her out on a date? If you're struggling to come up with the answer to either of these questions, or if you're just looking for ways to make your dates with your wife better, then this article is for you!
Every couple is different, but some things are universal. One of those things is that relationships need to be nurtured. And one of the best ways to nurture your relationship with your wife is to have a regular date. A date doesn't have to be an expensive night out at a fancy restaurant and a Broadway show. At it's core, a date is simply purposeful, planned time together, with the intention of strengthening your friendship and emotional bond with your wife. Use your dates to strengthen the things that attracted the two of you to each other in the first place, and to make lasting memories together. Experts say that couples who spend regular alone time together report being happier in their marriage as well as experience numerous other positive results in their relationships.
What are the types of things you enjoyed doing together before you were married? What are some of your wife's favorite things to do? If you don't know the answers to these questions, it's high time you asked her! Have her write down what she would like to have happen on a date. What are some activities she would enjoy? What is the goal of a date in her mind? Have her list things you can do together at home as well as things that require a night out. See if there are new activities she would like to try or something she would like to learn how to do together. You can do this too and then your lists and see how well they match up. Build on common interests, and be willing to try some of her interests too. Make plans to meet both of your needs and desires on a regular basis. Figure out what you are going to do ahead of time so you're not scrambling to come up with ideas while the clock ticks on toward the time your babysitter has to get back home.
Whatever activity you decide on, when your date actually comes, make sure you relax and have fun together! Flirt with your wife the same way you did before you married her. Demonstrate that chivalry is not dead and open the door for her all night long. Compliment her on her clothes, her looks, her smile, her actions. Be your best self while you're with her. Show her some affection. Hold her hand, put your arm around her, and give her a kiss when the moment is there. Take some time to look into her eyes and really listen to what she has to say. Ask questions that show that you are interested in her and her thoughts and feelings. Avoid conversations about the bills, the kids, the "to do" lists, or any things you commonly argue about. These can be discussed at other times. A date is time to connect with each other emotionally. It's also a good practice to put your phone away while you're on a date with your wife. If you don't already know how, learn how to use the "do not disturb" functions on your phone and your smart watch as well. Focus on your wife and don't let other things distract you.
-Call her or text her during the week to ask her to go out with you
-Take the lead on getting a babysitter for the kids and/or planning date activities
-Dress nicely (maybe even choose that shirt you know she loves) and be well-groomed
-Wear her favorite cologne
-Occasionally bring her a gift, something classic like flowers or a handwritten card, or just something small you know she likes like her favorite candy bar or the latest novel by her favorite author
-Remember important occasions and try to make them extra special: her birthday, your wedding anniversary, Valentine's Day, etc.
-Think about her needs and how you can serve her
-Tell her you love her
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With our Couples Advent Calendar we'll give you a great marriage tip for each of the 25 days leading up to Christmas. This fun activity will help you focus on your relationship. Make it your next holiday tradition!