What to Do if Your Marriage Lacks Intimacy

Does your marriage lack intimacy? There are many couples out there who find that the intimacy in their marriage isn’t meeting their needs. When this happens, it can cause marital problems and even divorce if it is left unaddressed. Of course, no one wants to divorce the spouse they love because of a lack of intimacy - so if your marriage lacks intimacy, look at the following guide which will help you address the problems caused by a lack of intimacy and take steps to improve the intimacy in your marriage!

What Causes a Lack of Intimacy?

First, it’s important to understand what is causing the lack of intimacy in your marriage. There are many things which cause a lack of intimacy in a marriage, which can include:

• Differences in libido due to hormones, medications, or age

• One partner feeling unloved due to lack of non-sexual intimacy

• One partner feeling less physical attraction to their other partner due to changes in appearance

• Lack of interest in certain types of physical intimacy

• Lack of opportunities for proper intimacy (due to busy schedules, children, etc.)

In order to find out the reasons for the lack of intimacy in your marriage, you will need to have a frank and honest discussion with your spouse about why they don’t want to be intimate. It’s important to approach this discussion neutrally in order to avoid your spouse feeling defensive.

How to Improve Marriage Intimacy

Thankfully, you don’t have to stay stuck in a rut with a lack of intimacy. If want to improve the intimacy in your marriage, follow these steps and your marriage will be back on the right track towards years of happiness together.

Step One: Discuss the problem (and how it makes you both feel) with your partner

Have an open, honest discussion with your partner about the lack of intimacy in your marriage. Use "I feel" statements and avoid making accusations towards your spouse. The goal is to share how the lack of intimacy is impacting you, and allow your partner to discuss 1) why they aren’t interested in being intimate and 2) how they are feeling about the situation.

Step Two: Look for ways to improve intimacy based on the discussion

Based on the discussion with your spouse, you need to both look for ways to improve intimacy. For instance, if your spouse doesn’t want to be intimate because they feel stressed out from work, look for ways to reduce that stress - book a spa day on the weekend to let them get recharged and refreshed; take care of some extra errands or chores to give them a break; and in general do your best to reduce their stress which will in turn increase their desire to be intimate.

Step Three: Don’t give up!

Remember, improving intimacy in your marriage will take time, patience and effort. If you are committed to your marriage, then you know that improving your marriage will take just as much commitment as the moment that you said your "I do's."